Back that ass up... at your own risk

I love to dance. I don't claim to do it well, but mix equal parts alcohol and latin music, and I feign rhythm. (I met a puerto rican lady last night who said that I can move - I'm encouraged). It's a great activity to do on a girls' night out and depending on where you go, it's an easy way to meet an eclectic group of friendly people. However, I will never understand why some men feel that approaching a female from behind is a successful method for acquiring a willing dance partner.

I call it the 'up the ass' approach where a girl will be dancing with her friends and suddenly find a faceless stranger grinding her ass. She will turn around to see who it is and then wish she hadn't. Because more often than not, the guy will be sufficiently smarmy. I'm not passing judgment on guys who like to mix things up and change positions (I realize that this entry is beginning to sound like something else). But I think most ladies will be back me up on this when I say that introducing oneself to a girl's ass before meeting her is just not the way to go.

Missed Connection?

I was on my way into blockbuster to rent a video for my screenwriting class (yes, I'll admit to being an occasional patron of such a place, even though I hate it) when I noticed a shaggy white butt occupying the doorway. Not daring to think the impossible, I assumed that the owner of the shaggy white butt was some breed of yappy, annoying drop-kick dog. But then as I craned my neck to assess, I realized it was a pekingnese almost identical to the one my family dog-sat for a year!! I swooned and proceeded to accost the dog's obliging owner who humored my random questions about the dog and my request to pet him (the dog, not the owner). Now I'm kicking myself for not giving the dog's owner my phone number and volunteering to dog-sit. Maybe I should post a missed connection on craigslist? Sigh, I didn't even get his name. I think I'm in love.